My Take on "The 'Jazz Boyfriend' and Your Musical Litmus Tests for Compatibility"

"loving music in general — whether actively pursuing new sounds, regularly going to concerts or even making it at some level — that's very important to me. I don't know about the rest of y'all: I don't think I could ever be in a relationship where the other person doesn't care for music even remotely as much as I do."

I know it's been a little while--life has been busy lately. My sincerest apologies!  I hope you all enjoyed the end of summer and are ready for fall to begin!

It's not often that I write personal entries, nor do I typically "re-blog," but in this entry, I'm going to do both!  It was last month actually when I came across a blog about jazz, "A Blog Supreme", while perusing NPR music's website.  Of course this was right up my alley, so I started reading, and found an entry that I swear I could have written myself, entitled "The 'Jazz Boyfriend' and Your Musical Litmus Tests for Compatibility."  Although I suppose had I written it, it would be titled "The 'Jazz Girlfriend'...etc."  Anyway, the gist of the post, or at least what I got out of it was, is it possible for someone so seriously into music to date someone so seriously not?  The deeper I read, the more I loved this post!

When it comes to people's opinions on whether it's best to have lots in common with your significant other, or whether "opposites" really do "attract," there is no consensus.  I have heard both sides of it, from some of the older and wiser in my group of friends and family, and have come to the conclusion that I lean toward the former, with sharing a love for music being a critical quality.  Take it from someone who was in a six-year relationship with a great person who knew nothing about music.  Of course there were other disconnects there, and I won't get anymore personal here, but it was very hard for me to accept the music thing, and I suppose I never really did.  Thus, here I am today :) But I digress.

I cannot stress how important it is to me to be able to come home after work and be able to turn on some tunes, whether it be jazz, classical, classic rock, oldies, Sinatra, whatever and know that the person cooking dinner with me is enjoying it as much as I am. Or to be able to come home from a gig and vent about how terrible it was and why, or how the trumpets were so out of tune, or (because I actually don't complain that much!) how great a performance was, how so-and-so nailed his solo, or how challenging a piece of music is... the list could go on!  Or just to be able to have an intelligent discussion about anything music-related and have the person on the other end actually be engaged in the conversation.  (This applies to subjects other than music too, by the way.)  I guess the quote at the top of this post basically sums up how I feel, really.

Now, the Eric Dolphy test would be a little much, even for me (though I almost choked on my coffee when I read that part, for other reasons not to be elaborated on here, and maybe never), I would say that I definitely do now have a "litmus test," in a way, when it comes to meeting someone.  If we can talk about music for more than two minutes, and it's a good conversation--he gets it... or even better, if he is musician himself, then there's at least a chance I might connect with this person!  Of course a music connection is not the only thing that is important to me to have a successful relationship, but being at the point in my life where I mostly know what I want, it's a huge one for me.  A "deal breaker," even.  But if you know me very well, you knew that already ;)

So, out of curiosity, I'll ask the same question of you musicians out there that the post on A Blog Supreme asked: how do you "pre-screen" your dates for musical compatibility?  Or does it even matter to you?  Feel free to leave comments!!